Get settled in, don't be drinking or eating anything, and have the sound on. I post this because I love you.
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Friday, June 27, 2008
Settle in children, we've got a lot to cover
So leading off, Teresa had her going-away party at Beauty Bar last Wednesday. There was dancing on the table, and even Jason Whaley came out. So after a couple of tequila shots and a couple of Crown and Cokes, I remembered why mixing liquors is a bad, bad idea. My mental capacity was perfectly fine, but my stomach said, "Naw!" Fortunately, there was no hurlage, because I stopped myself like a big girl.
Ya see, the whole tequila thing started innocently (as they always do) with me buying Teresa a shot as soon as I got there. So I bring it to her, and she tells me she "can't do tequila." Well, I've never been one to force anyone to drink anything, so there I was with two shots of Patron in my hands. What am I gonna do, pour them over Alan Trubow's head? (Not entirely a bad idea, in hindsight.) So I slam 'em, like the gamer I was raised to be (thank you journalism), and Melanie Spencer's husband and Brian Diggs see what I just shot, marvel accordingly, and then Diggsy says, "Aw man, I want one. Will you do a shot with me?"
Now when my friends ask me to do a shot with them, you guys know what your girl Critia is gonna say. Will I have a shot, yes I will, cheers thanks a lot, ooo it burns, thank you very much, yes I'd like another. So shot taken, tummy angered, I walked outside to get some fresh air and wandered into the most bizarre convo triangle: Whaley, Trubow, and Tim Eaton. I thought I'd really had too much, until I realized, "Y'know, Self, a lot of this wouldn't make sense if you were completely sober." Then I somehow slipped into a conversation with Mel Spencer's husband about Baylor football, and that's when I knew the night had taken a turn for the weird.
All in all, a good time was had, and weirdly the only person I know with pics is Trubow, which he's not forking over. As it is, I had to steal this one:
So the following Monday, me, Lori, Etienne and Tim piled in my car and went to Schlitterbahn. First I had to peel me and Tim off the roof of my car, because I'm not sure who was more excited. I mean, E and Lo were amped, but me and NomNom had the crazy eye, and at one point I actually caught myself bouncing up and down as we were shoving our stuff in the lockers.
It was an overcast day, not too hot, about 4 p.m. when most everyone else was tuckered out and had left. So our first ride, man, the water was cold! As we floated down one of the longer tube rides, Etienne and I kept looking at each other with these ear-to-ear grins, throwing up the metal/horns sign, and shouting "come AWN!" I think the other park patrons thought we'd come on the special bus. Best of all though, at the end of the ride, on the steep incline before it drops you into the deep pool at the end of the ride, I took out a guy taking his sweet time exiting the staging area. Hells yeah.
Afterward was more fun and frivolity while trying to hang on to our sunglasses (Lori and Tim: FAIL), lolling around in the large pool, debating tube size vs. butt sinkage/lack of aqualocomotion, and generally running around like teenagers on Jolt. I remembered my mortality halfway down the soda straws, that I could indeed bang my head on the side, break my neck and slide lifeless down a plastic cylinder. That's about the time that I spun around the entire circumference, causing that fluttery-tummy feeling that roller coasters do, and I'd forgotten until that point that when my tummy feels like that, my mouth opens and my body automatically emits a high, shrill scream characteristic of 4-year-old girls everywhere. When I finally exited the Tube of Death, the Three Amigos almost drowned themselves laughing so hard at me.
We saw some teenage girl walking around with a temporary tattoo anchor, and immediately we had to have one too. We're standing in line, and there was some waffling before the anchors were decided on, when this weird girl in front of me starts talking to us about absolutely nothing. You know those times when you're talking to strangers, and the conversation naturally dies, and like a normal person, you turn back around? Yeah, she kept hitting banal topics with the damn electric paddles to keep them from dying. She'd turn around, and just when I thought I heard the flatline, here's she'd be in my grill again. And, OF COURSE, she worked there.
We played some more, and were walking back from the tube ride that shoots you into the Comal River when we heard the announcement that the park was closing. Actually, between me and Lo getting out of the water and the announcement, Nom squeezed in a ride on a nearby body slide. He was pretty unstoppable...
We had gotten SplashCash (which I HIGHLY recommend), and were able to refund our unspent tickets for cash. As the light was fading and we were collecting our stuff, Nom and I snapped these:
Afterward, we had the best ending to a Texas play day: beer and barbecue at Rudy's in New Braunfels. I contemplated taking a pic of my Lone Star and brisket, it was so damn good.
So we're definitely going back, we've honed our battle strategy, and there might be a special guest star on the next one; stay tuned!
Ya see, the whole tequila thing started innocently (as they always do) with me buying Teresa a shot as soon as I got there. So I bring it to her, and she tells me she "can't do tequila." Well, I've never been one to force anyone to drink anything, so there I was with two shots of Patron in my hands. What am I gonna do, pour them over Alan Trubow's head? (Not entirely a bad idea, in hindsight.) So I slam 'em, like the gamer I was raised to be (thank you journalism), and Melanie Spencer's husband and Brian Diggs see what I just shot, marvel accordingly, and then Diggsy says, "Aw man, I want one. Will you do a shot with me?"
Now when my friends ask me to do a shot with them, you guys know what your girl Critia is gonna say. Will I have a shot, yes I will, cheers thanks a lot, ooo it burns, thank you very much, yes I'd like another. So shot taken, tummy angered, I walked outside to get some fresh air and wandered into the most bizarre convo triangle: Whaley, Trubow, and Tim Eaton. I thought I'd really had too much, until I realized, "Y'know, Self, a lot of this wouldn't make sense if you were completely sober." Then I somehow slipped into a conversation with Mel Spencer's husband about Baylor football, and that's when I knew the night had taken a turn for the weird.
All in all, a good time was had, and weirdly the only person I know with pics is Trubow, which he's not forking over. As it is, I had to steal this one:
A group shot before shots. It would be a lot bigger if I didn't have to rip it off Alan's Facebook.
So the following Monday, me, Lori, Etienne and Tim piled in my car and went to Schlitterbahn. First I had to peel me and Tim off the roof of my car, because I'm not sure who was more excited. I mean, E and Lo were amped, but me and NomNom had the crazy eye, and at one point I actually caught myself bouncing up and down as we were shoving our stuff in the lockers.
It was an overcast day, not too hot, about 4 p.m. when most everyone else was tuckered out and had left. So our first ride, man, the water was cold! As we floated down one of the longer tube rides, Etienne and I kept looking at each other with these ear-to-ear grins, throwing up the metal/horns sign, and shouting "come AWN!" I think the other park patrons thought we'd come on the special bus. Best of all though, at the end of the ride, on the steep incline before it drops you into the deep pool at the end of the ride, I took out a guy taking his sweet time exiting the staging area. Hells yeah.
The lagoon several of the rides dump you in
Afterward was more fun and frivolity while trying to hang on to our sunglasses (Lori and Tim: FAIL), lolling around in the large pool, debating tube size vs. butt sinkage/lack of aqualocomotion, and generally running around like teenagers on Jolt. I remembered my mortality halfway down the soda straws, that I could indeed bang my head on the side, break my neck and slide lifeless down a plastic cylinder. That's about the time that I spun around the entire circumference, causing that fluttery-tummy feeling that roller coasters do, and I'd forgotten until that point that when my tummy feels like that, my mouth opens and my body automatically emits a high, shrill scream characteristic of 4-year-old girls everywhere. When I finally exited the Tube of Death, the Three Amigos almost drowned themselves laughing so hard at me.
We saw some teenage girl walking around with a temporary tattoo anchor, and immediately we had to have one too. We're standing in line, and there was some waffling before the anchors were decided on, when this weird girl in front of me starts talking to us about absolutely nothing. You know those times when you're talking to strangers, and the conversation naturally dies, and like a normal person, you turn back around? Yeah, she kept hitting banal topics with the damn electric paddles to keep them from dying. She'd turn around, and just when I thought I heard the flatline, here's she'd be in my grill again. And, OF COURSE, she worked there.
We played some more, and were walking back from the tube ride that shoots you into the Comal River when we heard the announcement that the park was closing. Actually, between me and Lo getting out of the water and the announcement, Nom squeezed in a ride on a nearby body slide. He was pretty unstoppable...
The River Tube Chute
We had gotten SplashCash (which I HIGHLY recommend), and were able to refund our unspent tickets for cash. As the light was fading and we were collecting our stuff, Nom and I snapped these:
Afterward, we had the best ending to a Texas play day: beer and barbecue at Rudy's in New Braunfels. I contemplated taking a pic of my Lone Star and brisket, it was so damn good.
So we're definitely going back, we've honed our battle strategy, and there might be a special guest star on the next one; stay tuned!
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Hot new artist
Just heard this song, can't get it out of my head. She's not available on the U.S. iTunes store, so I might have to take a dip in the torrent pool:
U.S.- heyyyyyy....
"I love a woman with whom I can share hair-care product."
So I know many of you did not watch the absolute 8-0 ass-beating that the U.S. soccer squad, bench, and eventually some homeless guys dealt out to hapless Barbados. Yes, Barbados, the country that is begging on their website for people to play on their team.
Since World Cup qualifying is starting, and our U.S. boys are beginning their travels across the world, let me introduce you to our finest defender, Carlos Bocanegra. This 29-year-old California native was recently released from his contract with Fulham FC of the English Premier League (so he's back on our soil, ladies). According to the U.S. team site, Carlos loves Mexican food and bagels, his nickname is Los, and I swear to Kenneth Cole I'm not making up this next part, enjoys watching "The O.C." and long walks on the beach.
I just don't even know what to do with that....
Saturday, June 14, 2008
In case you needed reminding
"I may be psychotic, but I'm still pretty."
So I'm listening to a pop station on the iTunes, and the new Mariah Carey comes on, "Touch My Body." So it's all trampy and "loosen up my buttons" like you'd expect, except this is interspersed in the lyrics:
"Cause if you run your mouth and bragSo Mimi just wants to remind you that although she's pretty, and can sing sugary-sweet ballads, inside that sometimes crowded head is the personality of a serial killer. It's like "Silence of the Lambs" meets "Glitter."
About this secret rendezvous
I will hunt you down"
Don't you want to see that movie now?
A Thing of Beauty
I've always thought of food and drink as more than fuel (which is how I got the body type I have now). My grandmother taught me at an early age that food and drink can be beautiful, almost making it taste better. So you can understand why I really, really want a latte right now:
Sunday, June 8, 2008
Evening things out
In the wake of the ridiculousness that is Cedric Benson and Pacman Jones, as a football fan it was really great to read this story by Peter King about an Iowa town of about 1,800 that was struck by a tornado a couple of weeks ago. This was the hometown of four current NFL players, including Green Bay defensive end Aaron Kampman, who rushed back home as soon as he heard the news.
I strongly suggest you read the entire article, because it does show that not all NFL players are the selfish bastards that have been making the news lately. Here's a snippet:
Nice to see NFL players who understand there's something bigger than themselves.
I strongly suggest you read the entire article, because it does show that not all NFL players are the selfish bastards that have been making the news lately. Here's a snippet:
When Kampman walked a couple of blocks over to his high school football coach's house, his heart sank. Thomas and his wife were outside ... outside of nothing but rubble.
"I see Aaron coming,'' Thomas said, "and I just started crying. I lost it. And he gives me a big hug and says, 'Coach, everything will be OK.'"
Kampman stayed for the day and was one of a swarm of volunteers who removed rubble, chain-sawed fallen trees and worked the phones trying to raise money for relief efforts. The other NFL guys from the area pitched in too, vowing to come and help the recovery and send aid.
Nice to see NFL players who understand there's something bigger than themselves.
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