Ya see, the whole tequila thing started innocently (as they always do) with me buying Teresa a shot as soon as I got there. So I bring it to her, and she tells me she "can't do tequila." Well, I've never been one to force anyone to drink anything, so there I was with two shots of Patron in my hands. What am I gonna do, pour them over Alan Trubow's head? (Not entirely a bad idea, in hindsight.) So I slam 'em, like the gamer I was raised to be (thank you journalism), and Melanie Spencer's husband and Brian Diggs see what I just shot, marvel accordingly, and then Diggsy says, "Aw man, I want one. Will you do a shot with me?"
Now when my friends ask me to do a shot with them, you guys know what your girl Critia is gonna say. Will I have a shot, yes I will, cheers thanks a lot, ooo it burns, thank you very much, yes I'd like another. So shot taken, tummy angered, I walked outside to get some fresh air and wandered into the most bizarre convo triangle: Whaley, Trubow, and Tim Eaton. I thought I'd really had too much, until I realized, "Y'know, Self, a lot of this wouldn't make sense if you were completely sober." Then I somehow slipped into a conversation with Mel Spencer's husband about Baylor football, and that's when I knew the night had taken a turn for the weird.
All in all, a good time was had, and weirdly the only person I know with pics is Trubow, which he's not forking over. As it is, I had to steal this one:
A group shot before shots. It would be a lot bigger if I didn't have to rip it off Alan's Facebook.
So the following Monday, me, Lori, Etienne and Tim piled in my car and went to Schlitterbahn. First I had to peel me and Tim off the roof of my car, because I'm not sure who was more excited. I mean, E and Lo were amped, but me and NomNom had the crazy eye, and at one point I actually caught myself bouncing up and down as we were shoving our stuff in the lockers.
It was an overcast day, not too hot, about 4 p.m. when most everyone else was tuckered out and had left. So our first ride, man, the water was cold! As we floated down one of the longer tube rides, Etienne and I kept looking at each other with these ear-to-ear grins, throwing up the metal/horns sign, and shouting "come AWN!" I think the other park patrons thought we'd come on the special bus. Best of all though, at the end of the ride, on the steep incline before it drops you into the deep pool at the end of the ride, I took out a guy taking his sweet time exiting the staging area. Hells yeah.
The lagoon several of the rides dump you in
Afterward was more fun and frivolity while trying to hang on to our sunglasses (Lori and Tim: FAIL), lolling around in the large pool, debating tube size vs. butt sinkage/lack of aqualocomotion, and generally running around like teenagers on Jolt. I remembered my mortality halfway down the soda straws, that I could indeed bang my head on the side, break my neck and slide lifeless down a plastic cylinder. That's about the time that I spun around the entire circumference, causing that fluttery-tummy feeling that roller coasters do, and I'd forgotten until that point that when my tummy feels like that, my mouth opens and my body automatically emits a high, shrill scream characteristic of 4-year-old girls everywhere. When I finally exited the Tube of Death, the Three Amigos almost drowned themselves laughing so hard at me.
We saw some teenage girl walking around with a temporary tattoo anchor, and immediately we had to have one too. We're standing in line, and there was some waffling before the anchors were decided on, when this weird girl in front of me starts talking to us about absolutely nothing. You know those times when you're talking to strangers, and the conversation naturally dies, and like a normal person, you turn back around? Yeah, she kept hitting banal topics with the damn electric paddles to keep them from dying. She'd turn around, and just when I thought I heard the flatline, here's she'd be in my grill again. And, OF COURSE, she worked there.
We played some more, and were walking back from the tube ride that shoots you into the Comal River when we heard the announcement that the park was closing. Actually, between me and Lo getting out of the water and the announcement, Nom squeezed in a ride on a nearby body slide. He was pretty unstoppable...
The River Tube Chute
We had gotten SplashCash (which I HIGHLY recommend), and were able to refund our unspent tickets for cash. As the light was fading and we were collecting our stuff, Nom and I snapped these:
Afterward, we had the best ending to a Texas play day: beer and barbecue at Rudy's in New Braunfels. I contemplated taking a pic of my Lone Star and brisket, it was so damn good.
So we're definitely going back, we've honed our battle strategy, and there might be a special guest star on the next one; stay tuned!
