The No Duh Statement of the Week

From a story out of the London bureau of The Company:

Experts say European papers are prospering largely because they haven’t followed the U.S. path of draconian — and self-defeating — cuts in scope and quality of coverage.
“It’s a mystery to me why (U.S.) publishers think people will pay more for less, especially when the online world offers so many alternatives,” said George Kennedy, a professor emeritus at the University of Missouri School of Journalism.

*sigh.* And that's really all I have to say about that.

Critia's rules of surviving a horror movie

• If a fallen angel wants to have sex with you, under no circumstances let him. Do not have sexual relations with anyone else, either, because it's just him in disguise.
  
  
• Even if the vampire's got your mom, never, ever go looking for them until dawn. If he wanted to do harm to his abducted victim, he could do it faster than you got there anyway. Does the term "bait" mean anything to you?
  
  
• Not a lot of things survive fire. Best to pack a lighter and some flammable liquid in case stakes, bullets, etc. aren't doing the trick. When all else fails, Molotov cocktails may be the perfect weapon.
  
  
• If you are bitten by a vampire, werewolf, zombie, etc., you're dead, man. Don't try to hide it from your friends and pretend it's going to go away. Opt for death while you're still human, because even after you've turned, your buddies won't be able to stomach killing you.
  
  
• If your bitten buddy decides to split off from the gang and try to take out as many of the enemy threat as possible, start blasting away when you see him or her again. No matter what mind tricks are employed, that ain't your friend anymore, man.
  
  
• Holy water's never a bad thing to have. Neither is a gun.
  
  
• Learn from "Shaun of the Dead." Everyday objects, including the high heels you just tripped on, can be weapons; get creative.
  
  
• Speaking of those high heels, if you're being chased, just take 'em off and run. And if you fall, GET UP. No one's coming to help you, no matter how loud you scream.
  
  
• It always helps to have a friend who's a witch.
  
  
• Supernatural informants are always hanging out in dark clubs full of malevolent creatures. Have an escape plan. And have a Plan B.

Throw your hands up, Austin

Ladies and gentlemen of the ATX, hold your heads high, we've been named by Forbes as the hardest-drinking city in America. I'd like to think I contributed to our award and this distinction, and I'd like to thank the members of the academy, the fine folks at the Mean-Eyed Cat, Little Woodrow's, Trudy's for their Mexican Martinis, Cedar Door, Gingerman, Opal's Sixth, The Tiny Bar, Mother Egan's....

Raise a glass to yourselves, Austin. Stay classy!