Top 11 picks of the summer (so far)

1. Plain yogurt for sunburns: Cooling, refreshing, and yummy with mandarin oranges and almonds.

2. Random quotes from "Clue": "I hated her SO much, I- flames, on the side of my face, breath- heav- flames..."

3. Peach daiquiris: Fruity, cold, I can't get blitzed on them. Score.

4. Younger men: *Sigh* might as well not buck the trend.

5. Aaron Rodgers over Brett Favre: Apparently it takes retirement to realize you don't like your wife and playing a children's game is more fun than painting the house.

6. MySpace stalking: All the cool kids are doing it, just ask Elaina.

7. "Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog": I heart Joss Whedon; the man's a genius. And I have always kind of rooted for the villain.

8. Cowboys training camp: Zach Thomas is finally where he belongs, Witten and Romo are together and not in Mexico, and "Hard Knocks" is back. We can only hope Wade Phillips doesn't channel Dave Campo, repeating the same line to every guy he cuts: "We 'preciate ya woik ethic, and tha way ya go aboutcha byas-ness." Dufus.

9. "Bull Durham": Revisit this. Saw it last week with my BFF Elaina, who'd never seen it before. The opening Crash speech is the most famous quote (and I think everyone should have their own version), but man, there is some great stuff further along.

10. Twitter: Breezy back-and-forth snark with my peeps delivered instantly, except when we see the birdies trying to lift the whale. Tweet, damn you, I command it!

11. Reddish hair: I highly recommend it. It's apparently giving me a sassy attitude, and now I understand Katherine and Rae can't *help* but be forces of nature with this kind of hair color.

Also, I said earlier I'd tell you what happened after the George Michael concert. I wrote the blog, read it and started to post it last night when I realized how NC-17 it is. So I'll tell you privately if you ask, and it's really a better spoken-word story, but I'm not putting that stuff in print.

Tessie's revenge

Johnny Damon gets his Eff You from the baseball gods
and Royal Rooters everywhere...

This, from the AP:

Johnny Damon went up for the ball and put his always vulnerable left shoulder in harm's way.

For a moment, it looked like he had made a spectacular catch, the kind that changes games, the kind that makes momentum. But when he hit the left-field wall, the ball popped out of his glove, bounced and sat on the top of the fence, as if mocking the New York Yankees.

Finally, it fell and rolled back into play, and by the time Damon lobbed it back in, Kevin Youkilis had a triple and two RBIs, and the score was tied in the third. Two innings later, the Boston Red Sox got their knockout, a three-run home run by Mike Lowell, and went on to beat the Yankees, 6-4, Friday afternoon before 55,130 at Yankee Stadium. Josh Beckett pitched six solid innings to get the win.

First and foremost, I'm lovin' the Beckett win, because my future ex-boyfriend needs his swagger back. But what might actually outweigh that is Johnny "Judas" Damon not only hurt his left shoulder on the play, but looked like a complete idiot when the ball finally came off the wall and landed feet from his lunk head. It became obvious after a few seconds Damon had no idea where the ball was, and the guys down at the bottom, behind the screen, were frantically pointing and yelling in an attempt to direct him. Classic.

Happy Fourth, Yanks. Enjoy that left-fielder; at least he's not making time with Madonna.

Beating boys is fun

So guess who came in second in the Euro 2008 pool? Yeah, baby, yours truly! I got $30, but worth more than that was soundly beating Chris Hanna, Kevin Lyttle and the boss. Not that I have anything against those guys, just the opposite. It's just that it's always good to remind guys that girls know sports, too. Sometimes better than them.

I'd like to thank Spain, who got me my $30. A special thanks to hot keeper Iker Casillas, and his talented hands. And for deflecting those goals as well. (rimshot)

Iker Casillas celebrates winning my affection.

U.S.- heyyyyyy....

"I love a woman with whom I can share hair-care product."

So I know many of you did not watch the absolute 8-0 ass-beating that the U.S. soccer squad, bench, and eventually some homeless guys dealt out to hapless Barbados. Yes, Barbados, the country that is begging on their website for people to play on their team.

Since World Cup qualifying is starting, and our U.S. boys are beginning their travels across the world, let me introduce you to our finest defender, Carlos Bocanegra. This 29-year-old California native was recently released from his contract with Fulham FC of the English Premier League (so he's back on our soil, ladies). According to the U.S. team site, Carlos loves Mexican food and bagels, his nickname is Los, and I swear to Kenneth Cole I'm not making up this next part, enjoys watching "The O.C." and long walks on the beach.

I just don't even know what to do with that....

Evening things out

In the wake of the ridiculousness that is Cedric Benson and Pacman Jones, as a football fan it was really great to read this story by Peter King about an Iowa town of about 1,800 that was struck by a tornado a couple of weeks ago. This was the hometown of four current NFL players, including Green Bay defensive end Aaron Kampman, who rushed back home as soon as he heard the news.

I strongly suggest you read the entire article, because it does show that not all NFL players are the selfish bastards that have been making the news lately. Here's a snippet:

When Kampman walked a couple of blocks over to his high school football coach's house, his heart sank. Thomas and his wife were outside ... outside of nothing but rubble.

"I see Aaron coming,'' Thomas said, "and I just started crying. I lost it. And he gives me a big hug and says, 'Coach, everything will be OK.'"

Kampman stayed for the day and was one of a swarm of volunteers who removed rubble, chain-sawed fallen trees and worked the phones trying to raise money for relief efforts. The other NFL guys from the area pitched in too, vowing to come and help the recovery and send aid.

Nice to see NFL players who understand there's something bigger than themselves.

Jim McKay 1921-2008

Jim McKay brought us the horror of the Munich Olympics, my first look at Moscow and its minarets, the reckless wildness of competitive surfing, and was the unforgettable voice in ABC's Wide World of Sports opener: "Spanning the globe to bring you the constant variety of sport, the thrill of victory, and the agony of defeat; the human drama of athletic competition. This is ABC's Wide World of Sports." He launched Evel Knievel, and brought Muhammed Ali into our homes.

He introduced me to Nadia Comaneci and Mario Andretti, and opened my eyes to other sports besides the Big 3. More than anything, as a little girl he fueled my unbridled love for the Olympics and all that it could mean, all the promise that they held every four years. Back then in the waning days of the Cold War, when films like "Red Dawn" were made about our fears of Communists with imperialist goals, Jim McKay put into context how important it was that the U.S. and U.S.S.R. compete on a level playing field together and athletes interact, just to prove JFK's point that we are all all mortal and all inhabit this earth.

I also got a weekly world cultures lesson from Jim McKay, revealing to me why U.S.S.R. was on their singlets rather than Russia, that Spain calls itself España, and that while it was the United Kingdom, they competed as Great Britain and Ireland and there's a great bit of fighting about a little place called Northern Ireland.

He considered horse racing one of his favorite sports, and it's a shame that he won't be here to see Big Brown win the first Triple Crown since Affirmed did it in 1978.

Rest in peace, Jim.