On the 13th, I drove 4 hours north to the Metroplex to fulfill an 8th-grade dream: to share oxygen with George Michael.I arrived early, as has become my custom these days, and checked out the area around the hotel I was sharing with my friend Phil. Marble Slab, 24-hour cute little diner, and Pei Wei: SCORE. I nommed at Pei Wei and gabbed with Elaina, who at one point said something so funny, I inhaled Dan Dan noodles up the nose, complete with Sichuan pepper bits. So I'm coughing, my eyes are watering, I'm trying to breathe to drink some tea, and I never put down my cell phone. 'Cuz I'm a gamer like that.
Finally Phil hauled his cookies from Denton to our hotel, after his friend (who's a shrew) insisted on helping him get ready, then taking forever and keeping the beauty supplies. Wench almost made me late for George. So after a quick freshen-up, me and Phil, sporting Kenneth Cole sprinkled throughout our ensembles (we heart him), headed downtown.
So we're driving around and driving around trying to find parking, and mind you, I've never been to this place, so it seems like I know what I'm doing, but in reality I don''t know where the hell I'm going. ("Let good thoughts be your sword and shield."... "Maps are cheating.") We quickly realized neither one of us had cash to pay for parking, and I was angling toward a parking garage which I felt sure would take plastic, but one of Dallas' finest, who were directing traffic, sternly and firmly directed me into the other lane. He was hot and in uniform, so I of course took orders without even thinking; Phil totally didn't blame me.
We circled and circled, before finally finding an ATM on Cedar Springs (of course). We had a semi-George moment with Kenny Goss in front of his gallery, and we knew instantly the pop gods were smiling on us. SCORE #2. This was confirmed as we picked our way back to the AAC; usually, my sense of direction sucks, but it seemed for an instant I knew exactly where I was going instinctually. We slid into a lot within sight of the East entrance, hopped out, and after about 5 minutes of walking, realized we'd both made tragically poor footwear choices. We looked cute, but oh, the pain to follow...
We get past the metal detectors (!), and as we're trying to pick our way to the correct escalator leading to our section, in the crush of people Phil points out there's this guy who's dressed completely like George Michael. According to the Dallas Observer's Rich Lopez, this guy was milling around at intermission asking people if they were going to the after party and expecting people to want pictures with him. The giveways: creepy lurching, big gut, bad teeth, terrible English accent.
After walking a very painful 37.83 miles to the West side of the arena, getting bumped down and coming back around, we got into our two seats at the end of the row and they were ridiculous. Not in position, but in size. Airline seats are spacious La-Z-Boys compared to the milk crates they squeeze you into at the AAC, and poor Phil, who's like, 8 feet tall, could just not physically pretzel himself into the seat. Frustrated (and I couldn't blame him), he went to get a Coke, and came back motioning to me. He had mentioned his predicament to the security chick, and she let us sit in a row of folding chairs down below, eeeeven closer. SCORE again, because the only thing separating us from George was a thin Plexiglas barrier and a few hundred feet. Sigh...
And so we waited. For almost an hour. And the crowd performed several successful arena-wide waves. Which would have been fine, except the tickets said "Show starts 8 p.m. prompt, no opening act." Lies, all lies.
After a couple of false alarms, the huge digital screen flowing like a waterfall into the crowd finally lights up and we hear George's dulcet tones. "Where is he?" "Is he there?" Aaaaand the lights come up, and more than 10,000 people, myself included, completely lose their shit. Strap in, and here we go.
THE SETLIST:
First Half:
• Waiting (Reprise): The screens reminded me of the iTunes visualizer. Which is good, because I love that thing.
• Fast Love/I'm Your Man: After this one, George asked our forgiveness, I'm assuming for the 50 minute wait. He then stated how good it was to be home (yay Dallas) and vowed to "work my ass off for you tonight." It was confirmed that he can, indeed, still shake his ass.
• Father Figure
• Hard Day
• Everything She Wants: during this, there was footage on the big screen of old-school Wham! in China... Sniff!
• One More Try
• Easier Affair: George made reference in this song to all the girls who wished he'd be a straight family man. I'm sorry George, the "Faith" video made me feel funny in the 8th grade, and there's not a damn thing you can do about it.
• Too Funky: God, I love this video and it was great to see it again. It was so good to see Naomi before she started throwing phones at people.
• Star People
Somewhere in the first half, he was genuinely taken aback by the crowd support. He declared us the best audience of the tour so far, and we were pretty into it. My God, man, we love you! Didn't you know??? He then took a 20-minute breather to contemplate our love.
Second Half:
• Faith: Aaaaah, I love this song. This is really where the George Michael singalong in the Center got into full swing, as those of us who remember that scruff and that cross earring belted out "when that love comes down with-out devotion" at the top of our lungs. Several times during the show, including this one, the crowd was singing as loud as the band was playing. Holla, Big D.
• Spinning The Wheel
• Feeling Good
• Roxanne: George let us in on the backstory of the accompanying video, taken of hookers in the red-light district of Amsterdam.
• Kissing A Fool
• Amazing: George took a moment to give a shoutout to his very understanding partner, Kenny Goss, relating that he wrote this song for him. A very sweet moment. Now get on with the ass-shaking, man.
• Flawless: Mr. Panayiotou claimed he was told this was the gayest song he'd ever written/sung. The center screen then splashed with freedom rings. You go, Georgios.
• Outside: This one began with a chopper sound and the lights dimming. We lost sight of George. There was confusion... Then he popped out in a cop uniform. Ahh. Cuff me, officer.
First Encore: Yeah, like we were going anywhere.
• Different Corner: my favorite George Michael ballad. Sigh.
• Careless Whisper: Okay, so I sang at the top of my lungs on this one, as did the rest of the crowd, like I was in the 5th grade again. It's Careless effing-Whisper, man. It was a moment.
Second Encore: He had to promise us this would be the last song so we'd leave.
Freedom 90, Freedom Reprise
His band was great, his backup singers were fierce, and I thought we were gonna have a George Michael down as he tripped over the edge of the waterfall stage and almost face-planted. I would have caught him.
