Top Sports Phrases I Never Want to See Again

Working in the sports department and being a sports junkie, I've come across some really ridiculous verbiage in my time. Here's the Top 10 phrases that are driving me crazy right now.

10. "(Team name) dishes out some home cookin'." It's played, it's old, people were saying it in the '50s. None of those boys can cook anyway.

9. "When you talk about the Cowboys, you talk about a team that..." Troy Aikman is terrible about this; of *course* you're talking about the team, Troy, that's the purpose of your sentence. I've seen this creeping into print.

8. Mixed terminology: "The Texas Longhorns' defense pitched a shutout against quarterback Chase Daniel." It's not cute, it's just inherently wrong. Stop it.

7. "... the Southlake Carroll product's record..." He's a guy, not a product. No wonder there's so much commercialism of athletes.

6. "put on a clinic" ESPN pretty much killed this one. The first time I heard it, I said, "..huh, I've never heard that before.." The next 357,294 times, it made me crazy. The lameness factor counts double in print, triple in display type.

5. A "pitching duel". The pitchers never directly compete against each other, idiot. Don't make up impossible scenarios because your copy's weak.

4. "Youth is served." As what, dinner? What does this even MEAN? I've never seen this outside of sports copy.

3. A star player being described as a "stud". Don't be a jock-sniffer. Squelch the hero-worship.

2. Abbreviated nicknames. A-Rod, Man-Ram, K-Rod, D-Mac, JoePa, T.O., L.T., just stop it. Spend a little more effort, and you get the Nigerian Nightmare (Christian Okoye), the Splendid Splinter (Ted Williams), Andre "Bad Moon" Rison, and The Fridge (William Perry). Come on, sports writers, pick up your game.

1. Gridders, cagers, thinclads, spikers, grapplers, harriers, hurlers, and tankers. If you're writing for a small-town Texas newspaper in 1950, go nuts. Here in the century WE live in, nobody knows what the hell you're talking about except that 80-year-old guy who comes in for Friday night football to take scores.